Some of my fondest memories have come from spending time with my Dad. Harold N. Lemon was born and raised in Downtown Charleston's "Eastside" section of the inner city. Even though he moved to the suburbs in his early 30's, he always found time to head back to the city to "chew the bone" and "tell lies" with his childhood friends. As an observant 6,7,8,9(and still) year old child, I was fascinated by the smell of Schlitz Malt liquor, boiled peanuts, and Newports; as well as the many stories about "how big Deborah's ass is" , who was shot, who's on drugs, who's STILL living with their mother, and how "Jimmy, from up the street got fired from his job as a Longshoremen."
Aside from the stories and the confusing hodgepodge of smells, I was even more intrigued by the MANY nicknames of his buddies. At the time(and still), I always wondered how these men got these names, but most importantly, as I got older, how these nicknames managed to transfer state lines and cities. Thus, here is my Top Five Nicknames for(middle-Aged) African American Men.
"Black" - "Black" or his real name "Clarence", was one of the cities best High School football players. He got his nickname because of his substantially darker melanin than most of the guys in the neighborhood. Despite his past(and current battles with alcoholism) he always seems to look like he works out everyday due to his slim athletic physique.
***Black's drink of choice...(See picture above)***
"Black" still lives in the city, and is notorious for wearing all white sneakers with all white socks(pulled all the way up). He now has prostate cancer.
"E" - For whatever reason, if anyone's name begins with the letter "E", they are ALWAYS referred to as such. "E" always hung with the guys, but never got in any trouble as a youngster. He was never the one to get into fights. However, he did get in to one fight in '75 when he got back from "the service", and beat his opponent silly at the local night club(usually named "Club Paradise" or "Earl's Lounge"). Due to this event, his "'hood pass" will never get revoked.
"""E's drink of choice...water***
He's married, and has been for 30 years. He has two kids and they all live in a nice home outside of the city.
"Big...(insert any name here)"- "Big..." went to Kansas, after high school, to play basketball. He's been married twice, but recently has moved in with "Eunice" aka "Pam" since '83(they're still not married). He, of course, is bigger than the rest of the guys on the block. He owns the local conveinient store, "Club Paradise" and works as a bail bondsmen. He is a college graduate, but one would never know because of his constant use of the word phrase "Muthafucka!", and his multiple public dick and ball adjustments.
***"Big..."'s drink of choice...any beer in a "tall cylinder can".***
He has no kids. and is the only man in the world that sweats in 40 degree weather.
"Man" - Even to this day, I don't know how this guy got his name. As a matter of fact, I don't know much about him. He's somewhat of the "5th Beatle" and it shows. The rest of the guys shun him for the most part. He's not as loud as the rest of the guys and he always makes statements or ad libs, such as, "Man..go 'head!" or "Sheeeeiiiit...ya'll crazy!" He never has conversations, only an occasional laugh, when others are conversing.
***"Man's drink of choice...?
He is CONSIDERABLY skinny and is rumored to be a functional crack addict. He always wears a leather snap-back hat, and argues with his wife everyday, all day.(usually over the phone). He has 3 daughters, who all live around the city and work as Teaching, dental, and doctor's assistants.
"Sweet Black" - No, "Black" and "Sweet Black" are not the same person. "Sweet Black" is a little more cooler than "Black". "Sweet Black" always wears suits, or at least a blazer. He has a groomed beard (all the time), He's "blacker" or darker than "Black". He co-owns "Club Paradise" with "Big...". He drives either and old Mercedes or Jaguar. He always throws parties at the Elk's Cub for his birthday and High School reunions. Most, if not all the women love "Sweet Black". He was the one who always gave me $5 everytime he saw me, and would always say,"Jamaal!! damn you look like yo' Daddy boy, Wha' you know good?!"-(the most confusing question for an 8 year old to answer).
***Sweet Black's drink of choice...Gran Marnier ***
He STILL wears Lagerfield or Drakar cologne. His house is decked out to the max, yet outdated with a 50'' floor model television, waterbed, and an above ground swimming pool.
He's single, but has multiple women. He has a son who lives in Florida who's married with a baby daughter.
No one knows where "Sweet Black" works.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment