13 things, as told by Shep...

With today being Friday the 13th, I thought it would be a good idea to switch up our normal routine and share 13 unknown FACTS about my homeboy and co-contributor, Jamaal. Jamaal and I have been friends since high school and we shared a pretty dope apartment for two years in the District. So if there is anyone qualified to speak on his behalf, it's me. So let's get to know Jamaal...

1. He hates being told he resembles Common...UNLESS you're an attractive female, with dreads (or some variation of natural hair), ripped denim, a dope tshirt and some chucks, in that case he welcomes the comparison.

2. He made a bet that his beloved Clemson University Football team, wouldn't be totally embarrassed and have 70 points scored on them by West Virginia. Well, we all know what happened there..... So per terms of the bet, Jamaal won't be allowed to say the word Clemson all football season next year. He'll probably resort to speaking in pig latin when referring to Clemson or just call them IPTAY, because we all know he won't be able to completely abandon his team.

3. Despite being totally wrong about the ability of Clemson to stop a nosebleed, he has successfully predicted the National Champion in college football for the past two years -- a fact he feels the need to remind me of every time we have a discussion about college football.

4. While on the topic of football, Jamaal has a strange fascination with Donovan McNabb. So much so that he tattooed the number 5 on his shoulder as a tribute to his favorite out of shape, can't perform in pressure situations, zero super bowl ring quarterback, McNabb. Jamaal firmly believes McNabb is the greatest quarterback of all time.

5. Once a high school football coach, Jamaal now watches every televised football game as if he's watching game film in the "media room" at Marlboro County High School. Comments frequently made by Jamaal while watching games:

        "See! I told you! Somebody is in the wrong profession! I need to be back on the sidelines."
        "Get up son!"
        "That's a nickel package in case you didn't know."
        Commentator makes statement....Jamaal's response....."What did I just say??!"

6. If you're looking for Jamaal on a Sunday afternoon, he's probably here and probably ordering this. 

7. He's been a vegetarian for a while now but before deciding to be a "new-negro" you'd probably find him eating one of these every morning along with some eggs and grits. 

8. I will admit, he is a damn good cook. And since, I'm the smaller one with the bigger appetite, I reaped the benefits of living with him. Specialties include, cabbage, frog mo' stew and a good ol pot of lima beans and turkey neck.   

9. Considering he's the only person I know that ACTUALLY bought a Brand Nubian album, he relishes the opportunity to rave about the underrated appeal of Brand Nubian. I never listen. They have 2 songs....this one and this one. Everything else.... *yawn*

10. On the topic of music, OutKast is his favorite group. In fact, he's the only person with two ears that thinks Stankonia was a CLASSIC. I've spent many nights trying to convince him that although OutKast is a phenomenal group....they really only have one true CLASSIC and a bunch of "almost but not quites". He won't listen though.

11. Do you have Witchdoctors album? Neither do I. Jamaal has it....and just about every other Dungeon Family release.

12. Jamaal has seen every episode of Martin, at least 30 times. He can tell you what the entire episode is about just by watching the first minute of the show. He frequently quotes several episodes from the show. Including this one and this one.

13. See that beer in the picture above? That's Jamaal's favorite. Me? I'm a Red Stripe or Heineken guy. "Real men drink Guinness" says Jamaal. My response..."I guess real men like to drink liquid bread." Jamaal's response "Look it up, Guinness is one of the best beers to drink because it's actually low in calories." 
*I go back to drinking my Heineken.*


Hopefully you've learned some "little known" facts about Jamaal. And if you see him in a bar somewhere on H St. NE tap him on the shoulder and say...."Has anyone told you, you look like Common?"